Finding a guru

In general, it is understood that a guru is a person that will lead us to ‘it’, whatever we are seeking. Guide us to wisdom, freedom, enlightenment, or whatever it is that we are looking for. When we start to feel that there may be a bigger picture to life, but that we cannot find the answers to our questions, it is at this point that we may start to look around for a guru or a teacher.

However, this may come at a price. When one is seeking a guru, it is very easy to start to grasp at the first, best ‘thing’ that comes up. Think about how it is when we are hungry. We are so hungry, that we can just stuff anything into our mouths, regardless of how unhealthy it is. We just have this urge to satisfy our immediate desire.

The same goes for our spiritual or mental hunger, the hunger for understanding, the hunger for wisdom and knowledge, or true peace and happiness. The hunger for understanding, to liberate ourselves from our constant unhappiness and suffering.

Grasping at a guru

With this urge or desire for happiness, we may attempt to satisfy it in the same way we satisfy our physical hunger. For hunger, we grasp and we indulge. Physically, we may suffer the consequences of this instantly, such as stomach ache due to overeating, feeling sick, or nauseous. We suffer.

In the same way, we may suffer for grasping at a guru. Due to our desperation, we grasp at the first person we see that may look like they know something. In this case, it is also possible that this person we label ‘guru’ could be confused too, also seeking internal peace. This person we label ‘guru’ could be perceived as someone with great knowledge and insight, but these are only our perceptions because they offer us something new, something different. In no way does this imply that what they are offering us, is going to lead us to liberation.

However, it is most definitely possible to find a real guru, someone with real insight, with wisdom. We may think that a guru must be someone that has a beard, long hair, or shaved head or wears some robes or something similar. This is again false and only a concept created by the mind. A guru can manifest in any form, and the form or physical appearance of a guru is not important, therefore we shall not go into that discussion.

A while ago, the author was listening to some people talking about gurus and liberation. One person said something like this “I wish I can find that perfect guru, that person that is just perfectly enlightened! I wish I can meet this person”.

After hearing this, the author asked him: “What is enlightenment? What is perfect? How would you know when someone is, according to your opinion, enlightened?”

The person could not really answer, as he did not really understand what ‘enlightenment’ means. Through this, it was again clear to see that we are seeking something, but actually, we have no idea what we are really looking for. All we are chasing, are ideas and concepts created by the mind.

Now, imagine the consequences of seeking something - not knowing really what it is - and then finding a person which tells us that they will lead us to what we want, appearing as a teacher, but also confused as we are. This is dangerous.

What if we already have what we are looking for, but we are just too ignorant to see it? Chasing ideas of what freedom, liberation, peace should be like. Thinking that when we attain 'enlightenment', we shall be able to fly, run on water, do magic, and such crazy ideas. Chasing ideas, concepts, no matter how wonderful they may look or sound, can be our biggest distraction from what we already have, from what we already are.

Attachment to a teacher

There is a well-known saying, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear" or something like this.

With a deep yearning from the heart, a deep and sincere yearning for peace and fulfillment, a guru is sure to manifest. This true guru will empower us to look within ourselves and will empower us to find qualities hidden within ourselves. To awaken ourselves. We can not seek peace and happiness externally, in anything external, as it does not exist there. 

Further, we need to understand that this concept of a guru, it is not someone or something we should run to all the time or feel we need to rely on this, full time, forever. There is a very clear analogy for illustrating this. These are not the author's own words, they are the words of a Mahayana Tibetan Buddhist teacher. He said something like this; A guru is like a lighthouse. We should not all rush to the guru, to be at the feet of the guru, because this will create chaos. Just as if all the ships would sail to the lighthouse, the lighthouse will be surrounded by shipwrecks and chaos. Instead, the lighthouse shows the direction of where the ships should sail. Similarly, a true guru guides us to finding peace and happiness within ourselves, but we shall not seek it ‘in’ the guru.

Naturally, there develops a relationship of great love and trust between a disciple and guru, or between a student and teacher. Eventually, the idea is that we do not depend on the guru anymore, that we find the answers within ourselves, and the relationship transforms from a guru-disciple relationship to a spiritual-friendship. 

What has been expressed in this article in relation to teachers or gurus are simply the humble opinions of the author, at this specific point of understanding. Sometimes we unknowingly or knowingly, meet our gurus without having a conscious intention or desire of seeking one. Things happen spontaneously. We live in a magical world!

A photo of an Indian man at a temple in India, creating the idea of what some of us may think a guru looks like. Sharing, just for fun.
Taken in India, 2017.