The burden of choice

In this article, we are going to explore the 'burden' of choice. The inspiration for this article comes from a scenario the author recently observed. 

The person, faced with a difficult decision, felt overwhelmed, unsure of how their decision will impact their life and future. The person was not sure if they are making the right choice. This, is of course relevant to most of us. We are frequently faced with decisions that we are not confident in making.

"What will happen if I chose this or that? How will it impact me? What will others say? Will I be okay?" These are some of the thoughts we may witness.

See, we may think that the ability to make decisions is what gives us freedom in life. In some sense, that is true. However, the same freedom of choice and decision-making can also bring us unhappiness.

Getting too involved with these decisions, or identifying ourselves as the person involved, we suffer. The false idea of separation is enhanced. The more isolated and separate we feel, the more intimidated we feel, the more suffering we experience.

How do we make decisions, while remaining at peace? 

The heart's choice

Every decision comes with a set of conditions and consequences. These consequences are not necessarily 'good' or 'bad'. They are simply what they are, there is no need to label them. 

We are the authors of our own life stories. So, we decide what feels good for us. A simple example is the decision to change to a vegetarian diet. Before making this choice, we know there are consequences. Our 'menu' may be limited in some instances. People will question our decision or have their own opinions and judgments about our choice. Nevertheless, if this is what we truly want, we stick to it and we face what comes with it, because we believe in our choice, right?

The same goes for other decisions, such as deciding to study rather than to travel. Deciding to work, instead of starting a family. Each so-called 'choice' has a certain outcome.

Upon making the decision, we can do so intuitively. Instead of over-analyzing and involving complicated thought and logic, we go with what feels right, at that specific moment, and accept whatever follows. That is simple, isn't it? We can only take care of what is now.

Making space

Another approach to decision-making is to create space for the right answer to come to us. This implies that instead of getting ourselves entangled in a thought process and stressing about it, we give it space. Mental space.

When we make mental space, without expectation, we realize that the answer appears to us effortlessly. Clear answers come our way, without us forcing the answer. The right answer or understanding comes spontaneously and peacefully.

Checking up

The third, sincere approach, is to check up. First, is there truly a separate 'me' or 'I' that is here to make a decision? Who is this 'me' or 'I'? We investigate.

Then, what is choice or decision really? Is choice not just another thought? Is the thought itself not the choice?

Between two thoughts appearing, is there really a separate 'me' choosing the next thought?
Let's consider this...

As we know, thoughts just appear, like the weather. There is not really an individual thinker of thoughts, right? The apparent 'thinker' is in itself just another thought.

Knowing this, we realize that there was never really any choice to make. Life is unfolding, thoughts are appearing, but we have never really made any decision at all. In fact, all along, we remain, peacefully, as thoughts unfold and life plays out. Grace takes care of everything.

We realize that there has never been any need to stress or suffer about decisions. We can be content with what is.

The blue sky remains ever peaceful, while clouds, birds, and other objects appear.

Related articles on this blog:

Life as a movie - 25 November 2021
Thoughts and experience - 28 July 2021
We are already free - 19 July 2021