No expectations, here and now

This article was requested by a friend - thank you for the inspiration ;)
In this article, we are going to explore two topics. Expectations, and being in the present moment. 

At first, these two topics may seem to be different from one another, but upon closer investigation, we realize that they go hand in hand. For the sake of this article, and for the sake of a better understanding, we shall explore them separately, and then see how they come together.

The intention of writing about these topics together, is to give us insight into our suffering experience. Once we understand what is causing our unhappiness, we can do something to change it. We can change our ways of thinking and perceiving.

So, let's shed some light on expectations and being in the present moment.
Let's check up!

Holding Expectations

We do not have to elaborate much on this familiar topic. Most of us hold some expectations. We have expectations from those around us, and we are also holding certain expectations from ourselves.

See, we have this idea that others should be doing this or that. We expect our colleagues, our partners, our parents, to be the person we want them to be, to live up to our personal ideals. When the other party does not fulfill our expectations, we are disappointed in them, we get angry with them, and we create unhappiness for ourselves and others.

When we consider this, it is quite unreasonable for us to expect others to live up to the ideas we are creating in our own little world, isn't it? We are expecting the whole world to fall in line with our ideas of 'good' and 'right'.

We also create expectations for ourselves. We feel that if we do not drive this car, we will not be seen as good enough. If we do not have this appearance, we are not going to be accepted by society. If our wedding is not like this, what will people think or say? If I cannot have a husband and two kids, I cannot really feel fulfilled... and more.

We hold these expectations, because we are expecting a sense of fulfillment and happiness from them. When our expectations are unfulfilled, we suffer ourselves, and we also tend to make those around us suffer, by getting annoyed and angry with them.

If we are realistic, we shall realize that as soon as we create an expectation, we are taking away from ourselves the very thing we desire: Fulfillment.

We place fulfillment in the idea of the future, and therefore creating a separation between ourselves and happiness. We expect happiness from others, or from a circumstance, while true happiness lies within.

See? It is that simple. Yet, we keep beating ourselves up.

The present moment 

Checking up, we realize that the only experience we shall ever have, is now. Even if we think of the past, or we daydream about the future, we are doing it now, isn't it? 

In fact, have we ever experienced something other than the here and now? Is it not simply always now?

This is not some philosophical idea. This is based on our own experience. We can acknowledge that we have never experienced anything besides what is here, and what is happening now. Sure, we use concepts such as tomorrow, yesterday, last year, etc. but these are merely for the purpose of communication. They are not related to our direct experience, are they?

Knowing that the here and now is all that there is, we can surrender to the present moment. We surrender to the now, and we accept, without aversion, what is unfolding for us in the present moment.

In this way, we no longer hold ideas about how life should be. We no longer prefer one situation over the next. We do not mind how things turn out. We are content with what is. 

Bye bye, expectations!

Surrendering to the present moment and being happy with what is, we experience fulfillment and peace. Whatever is unfolding for us, we can experience fully, intimately, completely. Each experience is rich, perfect, filled with Divine Grace.

Simply being

Considering all of the above mentioned, we realize that there is not much to do, other than to let go of the ideas and concepts we entertain in our minds. We can let go of discriminating against what is supposedly 'good', and what is 'not good'. We can stop weighing up one event or circumstance against another.

We want to acknowledge that expectations lead to disappointments. If we keep having expectations from others, we are just making ourselves and them miserable. 

Imagine being in the presence of someone that wants absolutely nothing from us, that expects nothing from us. Would this not be a good feeling? Feeling free, just being able to be who we are, no status or image to uphold, just be.

Now, imagine being that person who can simply allow everyone and anyone to just be around them.

Expecting happiness in the future, we deny ourselves happiness in the present moment. The present moment is all that we shall ever experience, and in the present moment, there is peace.

Letting go of expectation and discrimination, we experience peace and happiness in the present moment.

Related articles on this blog:

Dealing with Grief - 07 June, 2020
Peace and Happiness - 06 June, 2021
Being Here and Now - 06 March, 2021