A question on 'how do I meditate?' (Includes a guided meditation)

The author chose to share this article on meditation, as it comes from a real-life scenario. He thought that he could share it here, as this is not some fictional question, but actually, something that we as ‘normal’ people think about. By sharing it here, it may be helpful to someone else too. 

Recently, a very close friend of the author approached him with questions related to meditation. She has never meditated before, and she wanted to know more about meditation. Her question, loosely translated to English, was as follow;

“I read up a bit on meditation, and it seems like meditation helps to keep some stress away and to keep things outside of you. How does one begin? What must I do? You once told me one can include meditation in your own religion, but how do I do this? How can I begin?”

To give the readers a short insight into what caused this question to arise, in such a way, this person, a professional career person, has been dealing with a huge amount of stress on many levels such as work, family, and health - the three topics which actually affects all of us. Health, wealth, and relationships. She comes from a Christian background, and therefore she asked how to include meditation into her religious beliefs and understandings.

She expressed this need for meditation, because she was clearly feeling like her current experience of life became too unbearable, and needed to break away from these heavy shackles that were holding her down, mentally suffocating in the shadows of her fears and anxieties. We are referring to them as ‘shadows’ because the fears we have are not real. We just need to break the illusions of them.

The ego's will VS God's will

The answer she was given is personalized, due to having a personal relationship with her, but it can be used by any person that feels that the above description resonates with them. It can also be adapted as needed. Nevertheless, she afterward thanked the author for the advice and said that she found it to be most helpful.

Before proposing a meditation, we first discussed the situation, to give her a bit of a deeper understanding of what is happening. After the discussion, the meditation follows. It goes something like this: (Shared in an informal way, using you and me words)

At this point, it could be beneficial to not get too emotionally involved with what is happening around you. Keep a healthy distance. This does not mean that you numb yourself and not allow yourself to experience anything. This simply means that you as awareness, you observe what is happening around you, without grasping or getting attached to situations or emotions. Watch them come and go, while keeping a healthy distance.

We must remember, each person has their own path to walk. We all have our own lessons to learn. Of course, we want to help everyone, but it is not in our hands, it is not up to us to decide what life brings others. You know how it goes, we cannot force our will upon the will of God.

Imagine a loved one being ill. We pray and ask for this loved one to quickly heal and not die. That is what we want, but God has His own plan with all of us. Sometimes we get placed in stressful and difficult situations because it grants us the opportunity to learn and develop. It allows us to evaluate where we are standing in life, and what God is longing for from us.

Do you see, how quickly our own personal ‘will’ can interfere with the will of God? With His bigger plan?

So, with your clients, your family, you are not there to resolve their problems. You must distinguish between what is ‘your’ work, meaning what ‘you’ can do, and what is the work of God, meaning what God wants and does.

Of course, this is not always easy. You love your parents, you want to see them happy, but you may not understand God’s will in this scenario. God maybe wants them to be separate, for reasons we do not understand at this point. (her parents are going through a divorce). I am not saying that God wants them separated, I am just saying that we cannot fight against the will of God. Think about how many people pray each day for things, because they believe these things they are praying for is ‘good’ and ‘beneficial’, but they may lack a bigger understanding. It may only be beneficial to their limited perceptions, but not in the eyes of God.

What we mean by keeping a distance, we are not saying you should sit back, hands folded, and let everything fall apart, no. What we say is, allow things space and time to unfold as they need to. Respect the will of God, even when you don’t understand it. We cannot change the destiny God has in place for us.

By a little ‘me’ wanting to control the Universe, it can be seen as a tail wanting to move the dog, and not the dog moving the tail.

What is of most importance, is to have internal peace. Peace at heart. Then, whatever happens around you, don’t allow this to disturb your peace. Peace is way too precious. When you have peace, you can share your peace with everyone, but when you do not have true peace internally, you cannot offer others true peace either.

I cannot get enough of expressing how important peace in your life is. Observe yourself. Stay vigilant, don’t let your thoughts and emotions get caught up in things beyond your control. The only thing you can control is how you deal with things on the inside. Stay anchored in God, while just observing around you. Observe, but do not get involved when you don’t need to.

Also, don’t try to change the destinies of others. Understand and accept each person has his or her own path. Thus, instead of wanting to change, rather offer assistance to those in need. As in the case when someone is sick. Do not try to heal them (unless you are of course their doctor!). Support them, bring them food, spend time with them, allow them to share their fears and worries with you. Be there for them, but do not try to change their destinies.

Regarding meditation, this is something you can do with any religion, and cultural background. You do not have to sit funny and make funny hand gestures, burn incense, and chant weird words, no. Make the meditation your own.

A meditation can consist of two parts, analyzing or contemplating, and then resting upon something. Start by contemplating or analyzing a situation, seeking a solution, or trying to make a conclusion, then, ‘rest’ on this… Don’t make it too complicated, meditation is actually very simple and easy.

Also, you do not have to analyze and then rest on something. You can merely just relax your mind from the beginning. There is no definite ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. You can simply rest in the present, the here and now.

For effectiveness, it is best to start your day with meditation. By doing this, we set a solid foundation we can build our day on. Do your meditation, if possible, before going to work and getting busy with your day. Meditation can be very effective when our minds are still fresh in the morning. 

Starting a meditation

Sit comfortably, crossed-legged, or in a chair, whatever your physical state allows you to do comfortably. Start to calm your mind and count your breath. Breathe deeply, slowly, there is no reason to rush. Count about 21 breathes.

Then, as your body and breathing calm down, you can think the following (if you want to). Think, for example; How fortunate am I to have another day. I have food, clothes, clean water, clean air, a place to sleep. Everything I need and more. How much do I have, in comparison to some other people?

Let this gratitude sink in…

Think of how God has always been there for me. How, after all, that has happened to me, I still have so much to be thankful for. How good God is for me.

Let this sink in…

Think about how much God cares for you. How much God has cared for you in the past and still does. After all that has happened to me, I still have a lot to be thankful for. God is good to me.

Let this sink in, into your heart…

Think of how God is in control of everything. How miracles happen. How you totally trust in God, have faith in God, and how you totally surrender yourself into the most loving, caring, and capable hands of God. Ask God to carry you, wherever you may go. Rest your trust in God.

Feel it in your heart, let this sink into your heart…

Think of how God cares for you, even when you go through dark times, you know this comes for a reason, to bring you closer to God. Darker times offer growth, development, it makes you stronger and gives more wisdom. Even when you had the most difficult times, God helped you through this.

Confirm this in your heart.

Think about how God is also with everyone else. That God has a plan for every single person, and that you do not need to stress about anything. Everything is in the hands of God. You do not have to worry about anything. You trust God 100%, whatever may happen. We know God has a bigger plan, which we trust, understand, and accept.

Let this sink in…

Allow yourself to ‘rest’ on this for 5 or 10 minutes. Don’t think of anything, just ‘rest’ in this for a few minutes.

After that, smile, knowing that you are in good hands. Feel at peace, feel happy.

*(Guided meditation ends here)


This was a personalized meditation, but as said, it can be applied to a lot of situations we may face. The reader may of course also adapt this, to suit their needs, use different words or phrases. This is just one method, which the author shared as a humble opinion, and the intention is not to debate or discuss the technicalities of meditating. Whatever brings one peace, that is what is important.

If there are any readers that would like to reach out or would like to discuss a situation and in search of a meditation to use, the author is always open to discuss and helping where possible. Please feel free to reach out, or to use the comment section so someone with more insight or wisdom can assist if possible ;)

A photo taken of a friend leading a meditation for school children at the Mahabodhi Temple.
Photo taken in Bodhgaya, India, 2018.