A journal entry - Awareness is Everything

Published 14 October 2025;
Content written 17 December 2019.

This article is a bit different from the other articles on this blog.

The text written below, is a copy of a journal entry that the author made in 2019. This journal entry was recorded after the author experienced an inner revelation.

This happened before the author started this website, and there was no previous writing experience, except for personal journaling in the author's mother language, Afrikaans, so the expression below may not be very good for English standards. 

What is written here, is a direct copy of what was written down with a pen on paper.

_____

The Netherlands
17.12.2019

This entry, I will write in English, hoping that someday, someone who needs this, and who is at the right place and time in their Journey to understand this, will find this, and may this guide them Home.

Since the last month, I kind of renounced my "spiritual practices". Not because they were useless. No, in fact, they have been most useful over the past two years. However, there comes a time that you should not "need" such a practice anymore, as you would have supposedly learnt from this what you intended to learn from / through it. 

Anyways, for me, as a personal experience, it has been since this last month of changing / renouncing, that I... I don't know how to describe it, but I can say I have finally found "It". Whatever "It" is. What the finger of religion points at. What one seeks through spiritual practices, prayers, what one seeks in the Himalayas, in church, from your Guru, from reading hundreds of thousands of spiritual scriptures. It all boils down to one thing.

There are honestly no words to express or describe, but what I can say, is that whatever one is looking for - it has never been outside. It cannot be found in materialism, in any temple, church, or gompa. Not in the Himalayas, the Amazon, or wherever. It lies within.

Whover is reading this - what you are looking / searching for - your deepest Source of peace, love, bliss - whatever you may label it, God, Guru, Source, The Divine, Ram, or whatever. I want to promise you this - You're It!

Over the past years, I tried meditations, mantras, and religions. I changed my location. I tried, searched, for the... whatever we label "It"... in India. Through Hinduism, the Buddhist scriptures of Tibet. I attended Buddhist teachings, read books, and went to a monastery.

Even though these things were helpful, they will still never be "It". The idea, or rather, the misunderstanding, is that "It" does not lie in putting on more labels. "I am Buddhist. I am vegan. I am a monk. I am a Hindu. I wear robes." No, no, no, no.

Of course, I fell into this too - by seeking, I thought that I had to take on new identities. However, the Secret was to get rid of identities!! Labels, ideas, perceptions. Shed, shed, shed. Dissolve. Let go.

I have spent many, many hours in meditation, visualising deities, visualising more phenomena, saying mantras in Tibetan, Sanskrit, and Hindi. Then, dropping a level, saying mantras in English, and finally, no mantra at all. Not needing it, of course.

It boils down to - no dualistic thoughts and perceptions. No wishes of what "I" want. Even when "I" want someone to be healed / happy / safe, it still comes from ego. Because, what this "I" wants, is never as what is. The Universe simply IS. It all IS, exactly as it must be. Not as it "Should" or "was" or "can" be. It simply is.

This statement comes from direct experience. It is not an opinion, it is not a theory, it is the most basic principle and nature of existence on any level.

And, it then comes to Awareness. It. The never-changing "It". To sum it up in a few sentences, here is my advice for the practitioner / seeker:

- Religion / mantras / prayers / visualisations are all good, but they will never be "It".

- By taking on a new religion / look / name - it will never satisfy you.

- What you are looking for is nowhere else, except inside of you.

- Let go of any ideas of how things "should" be.

- Let go of dualistic mindsets of good VS bad, evil VS good, ugly VS beautiful.

- Totally stop identifying with your body. You are NOT your body.

- Thoughts, emotions, ideas - they come and go. You are NOT your mind / your thoughts.

- There is NOTHING to "attain" in some distant future. You already HAVE what you are looking for.

- Awareness is Everything. Rest in Awareness. Dissolve into Awareness. Exist as Awareness.

- You, you ARE Loving Awareness.

Lastly, stuff like, hmmm... Reiki, Prana Healing, Tantra, Kundalini practices, Yoga, Astral Travel, altered states of consciousness, mushrooms, drugs, hypnosis, clairvoyance, meditation, etc. - yes, they are legit things and practices, but they will never be "It". You can aspire to be a great meditator, a great Yogi, have countless out-of-body experiences, but it will never give you what you are seeking. There will always be "something" absent, missing, still a "seeking", until you find what is within yourself. The Breath within the Breath. 

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About two years after writing this down, the author wrote a poem to express the experience that preceded and initiated the writing above. The poem is called "Longing for my Dear Beloved" and you can read it here. It relates to the above story.

"Awareness is Everything. Rest in Awareness. Dissolve into Awareness. Exist as Awareness."

Related articles on this blog:

Two years of Blogging; a letter from the author - March 2022
Introduction to this blog and the author - February 2020
Longing for my Dear Beloved - May 2021