Forgiveness; Another approach

In this article, we are going to take a different approach to forgiveness. In one of the first articles on this blog, we approached one method or path to forgiveness. In some sense, this was an objective approach, which could resonate more with some readers. 

In general, we feel that someone did this or that to us, and accordingly, we feel victimized, we feel hurt. What follows, is anger towards another person, hatred, and walking around with a heavy heart. We walk around with a grudge in our hearts, and it eats us up from the inside. This makes us suffer even more. 

Now, we are going to take a different approach, a subjective approach. The idea is not to point another person out as the cause of our unhappiness, but to go inwards and identify the source of our suffering, and accordingly, transform this into a peaceful experience.

So, let's look at forgiveness from another perspective.

Courage

Forgiving someone is not easy, it takes courage. Sometimes, a lot of courage. As we just mentioned, we tend to walk around with a heavy heart, eating us up from the inside, because we feel that we do not have the courage or the capacity to forgive someone. 

Instead of struggling to forgive someone, why don't we turn inwards, turn silent, and investigate this so-called victim? Why don't we investigate the apparent 'me' walking around unhappy and unwilling to forgive?

See, this takes even more courage. When we forgive someone, we let go of one thing, but when we investigate the idea of this 'me', this idea of a separate self, we have to let go of this whole package, this whole basket of ideas we have about ourselves. This idea we have of ourselves as a separate entity must be ready to die. This takes real courage.

After all, it is this idea of a separate self that is the root of all our suffering.

As we investigate ourselves, we gradually come to the understanding that we are not who we believed to be. We penetrate deeper and deeper into our True Nature, until we come to the realization, the knowing, that 'self' and 'others' don't exist. There has never been a separate self, nor others, this was all an illusion caused by ignorance. 

Nobody to blame

With this understanding, this clear knowing, we know that there was never someone else that mistreated us, there was never anyone out there, hurting us, over here. All along, it was the same character, and we are that Character.

See, what we do to so-called 'others' we are actually just doing to ourselves. Our whole Universe is merely different masks played by one character, our Self. There are many experiences, but one Experiencer. Many activities, but one Witness. Many roles being played, but one Actor.

When we know who we truly are, we realize that all along there were not two separate characters. Duality is an illusion. Accordingly, we realize that there is no 'one' to forgive, besides ourselves. This understanding leads us to lasting inner peace, lasting inner happiness. The heaviness in our hearts disappears, and our hearts become as light as a feather. 

In relation to forgiveness, as the idea of 'self and others' dissolves, the heaviness in our hearts dissolves too, because there is nobody to blame, nobody to point out as the one causing our suffering and unhappiness. Accordingly, our hearts open wide, embracing the whole universe.

Of course, all of this is not only to be mentally understood, but it is to be experienced. Until we know or feel that 'others' don't really exist, we cannot forgive in such a way. Therefore, we can check up, go inwards and we can discover the Truth within.

 

The reflection of the sky in the water is not real, it is only an appearance. In the same way, 'others' and the world is an appearance or a reflection of our Self.

Related articles on this blog:

Peace and Happiness - 06 June, 2021
Practicing Compassion - 25 April, 2021
The 'I' thought - 12 March, 2021